"IMPROVE YOUR TAGALOG

We're sharing the following note because we felt it is the nicest request for crediting someone's work that we "ripped off" and posted here. Thanks Pat!

Hi! My name is Pat Evangelista. You probably don't know me, but the post (below) on "Improve Your Tagalog" is an excerpt of my work, "Filipinisms 101" (under the column 'Crazed' by Patricia Chanco Evangelista, Lifestyle section of 'The Philippine Star', Friday, 22 April 2005).

I'm so flattered you guys liked it enough to repost it (and beautifully too!). I just have a request--would it be all right for you guys to credit it? I hope you guys don't mind. Great site! Salamat po! Pat

1. Achuchu (A-chu-chu)

This refers to the pointless insincerities being said during long,
involved conversations about nothing at all.

2. Ano (A-noh)

The all-around, all-purpose word for everything.

(1) Pronoun in interrogation: Ano? (What)

(2) Noun: Where is your ano?

(Where is your father/mother/ dead-uncle's-second-cousin)

(3) Verb: Anuhin this.

(Paint/kill/maim/castrate this.)

(4) Adjective: This is so ano.

(This is so pretty/big/astounding.)

(5) Interjection: Ano!

(What the hell!)

(6) Substitute for genitalia:

Did you ano your ano?

The use of ano is quite dangerous for the untrained ear,
and must be put into the proper setting.

"Honey, the ano is too long, we have to cut it,"
must be accompanied by the proper understanding of
the context, as results may be critical to a couple's future.

3. Booba (boo-bah)

A female blessed with larger than usual mammary glands,
which can be used as weapons of mass destruction.

4. Checheboreche (Che-che-boh-re-che)

Same as achuchu. It is interesting to ponder on the
reason why there are so many words in the Filipino
language that beautifully describe meaningless chatter.

5. Epal (Eh-pal)

An individual who believes he is God.

6. Gigil (gee-gil)

An uncontrollable desire to bite something.

7. Hipon (Hee-pon)

Literally "shrimp," whose body is eaten while its head is
thrown away, this refers to a female whose body is to
die for and whose face looks like it belongs to the dead.

8. Kikay (kee-kay)

Refers to individuals who carry a brush, hand wash,
moisturizer, lip-gloss and various other facial
enhancements in a case (aptly called a kikay kit) inside
her bag. Recent inspections of various backpacks
have led to the conclusion it is not a purely female trait.
This breed cannot resist checking themselves out on
mirrors, glass windows, bread knives, sidewalk puddles
and plastic-covered notebooks.

9. Kaekekan (Ka-ek-e-kahn)

Same as achuchu and chechebureche.

10. Kilig (keel-leg)

A rush of excitement due to the actions, presence
or even mention of he whom you see as the future
father of your children.

11. Laglag-brip (lag-lag-brip)

The female counterpart of laglag-panti

12. Laglag-panti (lag-lag-pan-tee)

A man so incredibly hot, so heart-stoppingly
gorgeous and oozing with masculinity that female
underwear (whether worn by males or females) falls
to the ground without effort whatsoever.

13. Indyanero (In-jan-neh-ro)

An individual who fails to appear at anappointment
without prior warning. Not to be confused with
individuals who appear according to Filipino time
(approximately 10 minutes before the meeting is to end)

14. Japorms (Jah-porms)

Describes an individual dressed differently
from the usual (typically involves clothes
that have been laundered and pant legs of roughly
the same length).

15. Lagot (Lah-got)

A prophesy of evil things to come.

16. Para (Pah-rah)

A term that informs the driver of a jeep to stop
and pause (usually in the middle of the road)
as the individual speaking intends to leave the vehicle.
Dangerous for individuals as drivers seem to believe
having one foot in the air is all that is necessary
for descent.

17. Takusa (Ta-kuh-sa)

Derived from takot sa asawa (afraid of wife), this is a
used to describe the silent (very silent) minority of
males married to feminine reincarnations of Hitler.

18. Torpe (tore-peh)

A gentleman who is desperately attracted to a female
yet by some strange compulsion is reduced to a frozem
mound of stuttering male whenever that female is near.

Armed with this list and a smile, you will be sure to make
the proper impression not just on your new relations,
but on your loved one as well. Now let's practice:

"Honey, when I first saw you,
I made laglag brip, and was almost torpe.
When I finally got the nerve to date you,
I almost became indyanero,
because I didn't think I had the right japorms.
When you're around, I'm kilig,
when you're not, I get gigil.
You may think all this is achuchu, kaekekan,
just checheboreche,
but in truth, my love, I'm so ano with you."

Got some more pinoy djoks?

YOU contact us at chismis@jeepneygang.com
and we'll post it. Ayos?